


Obliviously Obvious

by Mahawna, SandraSempra



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Aurors, Awkward Flirting, Candy Crush, Innuendo, M/M, Oblivious, Texting, crumpets, obvious
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-06
Updated: 2017-10-06
Packaged: 2019-01-09 22:27:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,456
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12285558
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mahawna/pseuds/Mahawna, https://archiveofourown.org/users/SandraSempra/pseuds/SandraSempra
Summary: Theo is tired of beating around the bush, Harry is completely oblivious, and a conference room is about to be defiled.





	Obliviously Obvious

**Author's Note:**

> For The Slash-Zone's live role-play! Love us some NottPott

__

 

 _Friday, 10:34am_  
**Harry: Theo, have you handed in those cases yet? They were due first thing this morning.**

 _Friday, 10:34am_  
Theo:  Why don’t you meet me for coffee? We can discuss the case over crumpets.

 _Friday, 10:35am_  
**Harry: Crumpets? When did you turn into a seventy year old woman? Just bring them by if you haven’t already.**

 _Friday, 10:36am_  
Theo: I happen to like crumpets, Potter! They go great with tea, and I enjoy the light fluffiness texture.  
Theo:  I can bring them by now though.  
Theo:  The files I mean. Unless you want crumpets too?

 _Friday, 10:38am_  
****Harry: …. crumpets would be acceptable….**** **  
****Harry: you’ve added the files from Malfoy for evidence right? We need those if we want this case closed quickly.  
** **Harry:... make sure the crumpets have cheese**

 _Friday, 10:38am_  
Theo: Cheese huh? They are pretty grate! I’ll bri the files swiss-ly ;)

 _Friday, 10:39am_  
****Harry: har har Theo. Bring the files. And the crumpets. With cheese. But don’t forget the files.****

 _Friday, 10:45am_ **  
** **Harry: are you coming?! Where are you Theo?**

 __Friday, 10:46am_  
_ Theo: I'm on the way. Why? You miss me? They were out of cheese when I got there. So I waited for a fresh batch.  

 _Friday, 10:48am_  
Theo: Shit, Potter, I forgot the files. Be there in 10.

 _Friday, 11:02am_  
****Harry: seriously Theo?**** **  
****Harry: never mind you’re here.  
Harry: thanks for the crumpets…. they were delicious.**

 _Friday, 11:12am_  
****Harry: Theo, would you mind checking to make sure everything is ready for that case to go to the Wizengamot? We don’t want it getting thrown out because of a technicality** **

_Friday, 11:14am_  
Theo: Oh I don’t mind checking everything over again, if you know what I mean.  
Theo: Thrown out or thrown down, Potter?

 _Friday, 11:14am_  
****Harry: Yeah, I know what you mean. I just _asked_ you and told you why. I swear to Merlin it’s like you don’t even bother listening to what I’m telling you. And thrown down? Wtf Theo? Obviously I meant thrown _out._ Why would I ever mean thrown down? In what context would that even be a suggestion? ****

__Friday, 11:17am_  
_ Theo: You know Potter, for an auror who’s known for paying attention to details, you truly can be quite clueless. You know that? Would it kill you to try and read between the lines??

 _Friday, 11:20am_  
****Harry: WHAT LINES?! I swear to Merlin if I find out you’ve been experimenting again with Zabini with unknown substances, I’ll throw your crack-arse in the holding cell myself.** **

_Friday, 11:26am_  
Theo: You're joking right? Gods, please tell me you're joking! Also, the file is on your desk. I made like muggle Santa and checked it twice for you.  
Theo: plus, that was one time. And don't pretend you didn't partake with Weasel after you confiscated it!

 _Friday, 11:32am_  
****Harry: JOKING ABOUT WHAT? What are we even talking about?! How do you even know what Santa Claus is?**** **  
****Harry: please, you and Zabini were higher than fucking kites. And that one time with Ron was a complete accident and you know it! He dropped the package and it burst open. Not. My. Fault.  
** **Harry: thank you for the file**

 _Friday, 11:33am_  
Theo: Of course I know Santa! He is a Slytherin, mate. Think about it -His name is EVERYWHERE. He has minion goblin dudes to do the hard work while he works ONE DAY for free cookies. I mean, talk about a smart business man.  
Theo: and as for the bursting of the bag…. Let it snow, let it snow, let it snowww.

 _Friday, 11:38am_  
**Harry: point taken….**  
**Harry: YOU PROMISED NEVER TO MENTION IT AGAIN!  
** **Harry: Theo, your phone is strictly for work purposes. The ministry paid for it. Stop sending me candy crush invitations!**

 _Friday, 11:41am_  
Theo: Oh I can promise a great many things, Potter. ;)  
Theo: and I can’t help it! You need to check this thing out! I NEED MORE LIVES!! I promise to return the favor…

Friday, 11:47am  
****Harry: That was a weird thing to say. I’m so happy for you that you can keep a promise?....**** **  
** **Harry: ugh fine, there you happy now? I hate this game. I just hear Hermione in the back of my head telling me how bad sweets are for you teeth whenever I play it.**

 _Friday, 11:52am_  
Theo:  You’re the candy, Potter. Now to work on the crush part…  
Theo: Why do you think of Hermione so much? Do you like her? Are you more than friends?  
Theo: YOU CAN DO BETTER!  
Theo: just sent you 2 lives! Play with me! ;)

 __Friday, 12:04pm_  
_ ****Harry: ….. Hermione’s married Theo. To YOUR best friend… I’m not a home-wrecker, you tosser. She also happens to be my best friend, and her parents are dentists. Hence the harsh comments about the candy.** **

_Friday, 12:06pm_  
****Harry: have you SEEN the types of people that want to date The Chosen One? No thanks. I’ll stay the favourite uncle.**** **  
****Harry: I AM playing with you, did you not just see that? Keep up, Nott.  
Harry: Why are you so upset about the idea of me dating Hermione anyway?**

 _Friday, 12:13pm_  
Theo: ugh, don’t remind me. He’s lost his edge when he married that one. With her constant nagging. She def stole his mancard when he said ‘I DO’.  
Theo: thats… not what I meant, Potter.

 _Friday, 12:16pm_  
Theo: And you can’t mean to stay the handsome bachelor forever…  
Theo:  there are GOOD types in that mass of people you know. Js

 _Friday, 12:18pm_  
Theo: ones that send you lives in candy crush and sends you crumpets for example...

 _Friday, 12:25pm_  
****Harry: you’re still just bitter Hermione told you you’re not allowed to come over every night, aren’t you?**** **  
****Harry: you know, YOU could actually go out and try dating too instead of trying to invade on their honeymoon stage. I don’t understand how you can even still want to go over there. Have you not walked in on them yet. Literally EVERY bloody time I go over there, even when they’re expecting me, I still end up seeing something I would rather live my life NEVER seeing. Like freaking bunnies is what they are.**  
  
_Friday, 12:28pm_  
****Harry: I’m sure you’re a wonderful person to date, the crumpets and lives are very thoughtful.****

 _Friday, 12:31pm_  
Theo: First off…. Gross, Potter. I don’t share their ways of bedroom manners. I’d say you know what I mean, but this conversation has proved that you don’t. Which is a shame, really.  
Theo: Secondly, the thought never crossed your mind as to WHY I was there when you were? Probably not.  
Theo: haga  
Theo: *haga  
Theo: damn these beautiful long fingers! *HAHA

 _Friday, 12:32pm_  
****Harry: Hey now! I resent that. You’re the one making weird comments that have absolutely nothing to do with the conversation. Not my fault I can’t follow along your brainwaves.  
Harry: I did actually wonder why you always seemed to be over there, I just assumed it was because you were bored and enjoy getting a rise out of Hermione.** **

_Friday, 12:46pm_  
****Harry: HAHAHAHAHA just admit you’re inept. It has nothing to do with your “long beautiful fingers.”****

 _Friday, 1:18pm_  
Theo: Though I do enjoy pissing the witch off, it's not my main goal.  
Theo: I could show you just how inept I can be with these fingers, Potter…

 _Friday, 1:23pm_  
Theo: Come on, I can’t spell it out any clearer than that!

 _Friday, 1:52pm_  
****Harry: …. are you coming on to me, Nott? …****

 _Friday, 1:59pm_  
Theo: Well that all depends, Potter.  Do you want me to come on to you? Because as much as I’m enjoying this little chase of ours, I was beginning to lose momentum.  
Theo: Course, that’s rarely a problem for me. Losing momentum I mean. ;)

 __Friday, 2:17pm_  
_ ****Harry: There’s an empty conference room at the end of the hall. Nobody uses it because there’s an unfortunate thundercloud in one corner no one's been able to get rid of…****

 _Friday, 2:18pm_  
****Harry: meet you there in ten?****

 _Friday, 2:18pm_  
Theo: make it five.  
Theo: And trust me when I say this, Potter.  With the noises we’ll be making, that thundercloud will be the farthest thing from our minds ;)

 _Friday, 2:18pm_  
****Harry: See you in five.****

 _Friday, 2:23pm_  
Theo: gsgjwhrwsdg00000009=

 _Friday, 10:46pm_  
**Harry:  Butt sexting is frowned upon, Nott. And how did we even manage a voicemail?! Do I really sound like that?! Dear Merlin, I’m never coming again.**

 __Friday, 10:51pm_  
_ Theo: ohh you will if I have anything to say about it!


End file.
